Blind

“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

Reading this from John chapter 9 I asked myself the same question. Who did wrong? Why am I blind or confused? A lot of times we don’t understand. The man in this story is literally blind from birth.

Jesus answered in verse 3, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.”

It’s hard to understand why we go through what we do. I’m not going through a hard trial now, but I am asking myself lots of questions. I want to learn more, understand more, I want my eyes to be opened. God doesn’t like to leave us in a place of confusion…but we are just little children. He can’t give us the whole picture yet. I think of it like when I’m trying to explain something to my possible future brother. He is 2 and a half and is fighting a lot of questions. The other day he asked me, “Jessie mommy?” I said I am only Jessie, not mommy. “Why?” He asked. That makes my heart sad. He is confused, he doesn’t have a mommy but he wants one so bad. It would make sense to a 2 year old for me to be mom. who takes him places like the Day Center, play with him all day, take him back to his temporary home, and also bring him to my own home for a while. I see him and care for him with so many places he goes.

Just like I can’t explain to Issah who his mom is, God can’t explain some things to us. He does reveal things as we are ready for them. I want answers, but more importantly I want to trust Him in all things. It’s not easy!

Verse 6 grabbed my attention again. “When he said these things, He spat on the ground and made clay with saliva; and He anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay.” He put spit and dirt on this blind guy’s eyes! He could have just told the guy to see and he would see right? But in life, there is so much more to learn when we go to wash off our eyes so we can be healed. Isn’t that beautiful? Sometimes it isn’t our fault we can’t see, or that we have spit and dirt on us, but still we are not worthy for God to come down and touch us, and help us see.

Verse 39, “Jesus said, ‘For judgment I have come into this world, that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may be made blind.”

As long as we live on this earth, we will be blind, but He will help us see. This makes me all the more excited for heaven! When we will be given new eyes and we will understand everything…no wonder it will be a big party! We think we worship Him now, just think when we see Him face to face and understand fully His love for us!

I'm back

So I have heard from a few people now that they miss my blogging. I miss blogging too! So I am going to start blogging here again, since the new blog didn't work out very well. I know some of you are busy and don't really want to sit at your computer reading blogs. But those of you who do want to get them, let me know. Send an email to realtogod@yahoo.com and let me know you would like me to forward my blogs to you. You can also go to my blog page at: journeysinafrica.blogspot.com.

Here is a little update on how I'm doing now:

While in Africa, God cleared some fog in my future. The organization I was with shut down before my internship ended and I came home a month early. Through that heartbreak I saw God had plans for me at home. Those plans keep unfolding as I try to seek His plan in everything I do, and opportunities I’m given. Still something doesn’t feel right. For five months I’ve been trying to settle back, adjust, and be content with my life here. I keep telling myself time will help me…but time went on…and I still miss and desire to go back just the same.

As much as I love being with family, animals, and old friends again, my spirit can no longer be satisfied with these comforts. It breaks for those in other cultures hurting, hungry, cold, and sick. I’ve been to a few countries now, and would love to go back to each one. After nine months in SA making friends I called sister, mother, and brother, there is no doubt I must go back to this country! My life has been forever changed by these people I dearly love and their culture I did my best to embrace.

Yes, I am starting to plan another adventure to South Africa! It won't be as long as 9 months. I am saving up and hopefully I will go next year. To keep me content until then, I am planning on some short trips to Mexico. I just have to be out in the mission field again!

God bless you all,
Jessica

Thank you for following my blog! I've started a new blog for my new adventures now that I am back in the states. Join me in searching for God's plan for my life at http://exploringlifewithhim.blogspot.com/

Dance Me!

“If we are seeking Him through prayer and Bible study, we will not likely miss His appointments.” – Beth Moore.

Last I said I felt God was giving me the “go ahead” to do what’s in my heart for my future but with that I feel comes responsibility to do it right. What if I “miss His appointments”? From the quote above I believe God is assuring me that I won’t, not as long as I continue to pray and study His Word. And as long as I have Him by my side, our dreams will unfold in the right time.

“When we wait on God He gives supernatural strength and accomplishes the inconceivable!” - Beth Moore.

Today I felt God’s presence surround me, no, really surround me! His arms held me tight. I find that not many people understand this feeling or really know or have experienced what I’m talking about. Those of you who have felt this know it was like being lifted into the clouds, or heaven touching earth right where I sat. I know my God is real, His love is real, and He means every word when He says, “I know the thoughts that I have of you, … thoughts of peace and not of trouble, to give you a future and a hope.” I will call Him and ask Him, and He will listen to me. I sought Him and found Him, because I searched with all my heart. Paraphrase from Jeremiah 29:11-13. I didn’t miss our “appointment” today!

I found the perfect song for today while going though some of my music, “King of the World” by Point of Grace. Listen to it! This song is where I get my title for this blog.

A New Journey Sparks

Wow, it’s been too long since I’ve blogged. I apologize to anyone who has been in the dark about what has been going on in the ministry and in my life since I’ve last blogged. October 18th I found out my plans for the next month have completely changed. It wasn’t just in my life that plans changed, but in the girls I lived with and everyone else on staff with Thrive Africa, as well as many others that are impacted through Thrive. Yes, the ministry was shutting down. The girls and I would be moving back home by the end of the month of October, two weeks after we heard the news.

However, this isn’t just the end of what God is doing in the villages of South Africa, but also the beginning of God’s new plans for the people He loves. Four of the staff from Thrive Africa are now working with a new ministry, Ignite Africa. I am excited to see where God is taking these four, June, Jill, Amanda, and Abram, as they launch this new ministry.

To see Ignite Africa’s website go here: http://ignitesouthafrica.org/

For me this has been a challenging, confusing, yet exciting new adventure to see what plans God has next for my life. I arrived back home on November 1st and have since been processing my year in Africa by going through my thousands, no seriously, thousands of pictures, reading my journal, praying, and reading the Bible. I still haven’t found my next adventure in life, but for me, living here with my family is a whole adventure in itself! I’m holding on to God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11 and continue to ask God what His will is for my life. I have loved my time in Africa and especially the people I left there. I miss them dearly and look forward to the day I will see them again, whether that will be here on earth or in heaven. I wouldn’t mind a bit if I was blessed with the opportunity to go back!

I know God had brought be back here in His right time. I ask what His will is but I feel like the question comes back to me. What is my will? What do I want to do with my life? Joshua 1:3 says, “Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given you,…” and verse 5 goes on, “… I will not leave you or forsake you.” I feel like God is telling me to go, and He will follow me. I guess it has been easier to ask what He wants and do it. It’s easy for me to take orders, I’m a follower. Now God is giving me this life back and I’m responsible for what comes out of it. Will I live to the fullest? Will I take every opportunity? Will I love? Most important, when I’m done and God calls me home, will He say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant”?

All these questions fill my head and God says in verse 9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord you God is with you wherever you go.” It’s not like He is telling me to go off on my own, no, He’s coming with me! With Him by my side I can be more confident I will live a life that worships Him.

BTS (Behind the Scenes)

A third of the 24/7 internship here is spent working in BTS, or behind the scenes of ministry. This is usually spent in the office but sometimes I have fun working with items that have been donated and I organize them so that they can be used in ministry. We have spent a lot of time in the book container and pulling out books we can and can’t use. This isn’t sitting in a chair going through books but rather lifting many dusty boxes and even breaking a sweat!
This week I have had a lot of fun going through toys, books, and office supplies to gift out for our LaunchPad graduation coming up in a few weeks. Our final term is coming to an end which is both exciting but also sad as we will miss our students and visiting the schools.

Katleho, Success

As soon as class got out Katleho walked right over to where we were waiting and sat down beside us. He has told us proudly before that his name means success. It was only a couple moments before he jumped back up and announced it was time for our class to start and headed straight to the classroom. When we caught up he was busy cleaning out the room. After it was all clean we walked in and he sat himself at the very first desk right in front of where we teach. We usually use the first desk but he was so excited to learn what we had to teach he wanted the front row where he wouldn’t miss a word. His excitement to learn gave me an excitement to teach! I found myself leaving that day with more energy than I arrived with. Usually an hour long trip to Qwa Qwa, teaching class, and then an hour long trip back leaves me feeling drained and ready for a nap. However, today was different. It gave me a new excitement! I’m so excited about what God is doing in the lives of the students we have the opportunity to teach each week.

Planting Seeds

Lillian was excited for our visit this week as usual and shared her tea with us. After we finished our tea she asked if we were still interested in helping her with her garden. We said yes, of course!

We started from the beginning with digging up the soil, then planted the beans and corn, followed with burying them and watering them. We all had fun taking turns with each step. It was very tiring and we were well worn out when we finished!

While we planted and watered the seeds I thought of how we have planted seeds in Lillian and her daughter. We will not be here in the harvest to see the result of our hard work in the garden, but we have been able to see the seeds in Lillian grow. It is a great blessing to have the opportunity to live here for a year and not just plant seeds but water them and care for them. We have even seen some of the seeds we have planted blossom and the beauty they show to everyone around! It has been wonderful to continue to water Lillian’s seeds and feel her also water ours.

Questions, Questions!

Our students are asking those tough questions about Christianity and God after two new boys joined and started releasing all those questions bubbling inside their heads. This last week we came extra prepared with Charlene who has asked many of those questions herself during her young faith. She said these questions should never stop because when we stop asking questions, we stop growing spiritually. At the end of class we all stood up in front of the class so they could ask their questions and one of us could answer. Some questions we still haven’t found an answer to, like where did God come from and why doesn’t He have parents. I enjoyed hearing their questions and seeing them looking for answers to defend their faith!

Peace in this Storm

I left family and friends almost 9 months ago to fly over the ocean and live in Africa for a year. With that there were a few fears, but God has been wiping those fears away. One fear was leaving someone I might never see again on this earth. I use to think that it was harder to let someone go if I wasn’t there to say goodbye. I might have to say goodbye again when I get back and realize the person is really gone, but for now, I can say goodbye.

My Peace, God
My storm, Grandpa’s death

Here is the last half of the first verse and chorus to the song, “Praise You in this Storm.”

as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

This song plays over and over in my mind and the words have been a conversation between God and me. I’ve complained to God and I’ve cried out to Him.

“I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way” (Psalm. 142:2-3)

He did not tell me to hush; He didn’t tell me to learn to go on, He said, “I’m with you.” (Deut. 31:8) He is with me and knows my sorrow. He knows what it is like to lose someone, He lost His Son. The best part is that His Son came back to life and now lives in Heaven with God and my grandpa has joined them! I can’t help but thank God for that. I praise and worship Him because He is my Dad, Comforter, Savior, and Peace. I don’t understand how people choose to live without Him. Doesn’t everyone want life to be good even when it’s not? To have real peace? I love my Father, and with Him I still have peace in any storm.

Covered in Kids

This week Jenna and I arrived at our school hoping this would be the week we actually would get to see our kids and teach. And it was! We decided to arrive early so that if school got out early again we would be there. We waited for the older kids to get out of class and the younger ones waited for their older sisters and brothers too. As we sat on the brick wall, we were well aware of all the eyes looking at us and Jenna dared to pull out her camera and take some pictures of all the cute faces. Before I knew what was happening, we were surrounded with about thirty kids on all sides! All of them wanted their picture taken. I decided to help Jenna out and took some pictures too (and I wanted some). Even though it was chaos I loved being in the middle of it and watching them get so excited over their own photo. When our interpreter, Dave, arrived he almost called to find out where we were when he saw us covered in the crowd of children!

That was just the beginning. After our classroom was clear from the previous kids we moved in to start our class. We waited for several minutes and then to our joy, they all came flooding in! I think we had the biggest class so far this term! A couple of the young ones who waited with us on the brick wall joined too! They quietly listened so well and were an adorable addition. While Jenna taught her part of the lesson she paused to ask if they had any questions after a confusing part. Our class hasn’t asked any questions so far even if they are confused, but this time they didn’t stop asking questions! Jenna never did get back to her lesson and the rest of the time was filled with answering their good questions. They asked insightful questions about Heaven, Hell, and God.

I walked away that day knowing God was moving, prayers were answered, and kids understood. Praise God!

Treasures in Africa

In an earlier blog I wrote how it has been hard to focus on the here and now in life and that my mind has been wondering into the future too much.

“… do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself…” Matthew 6:34

Today I thought about God’s gifts to me now. In fact, today itself is called the present! After living in Africa now for eight months I still had a, “I’m in Africa!” moment. I am living in Africa right now! During my morning jog today I found myself surrounded by blesbok and wildebeest with springbok and fallow deer in the distance. Right now I am sitting under a roof made of grass. I spent the weekend with my close friends who I have laughed and cried with and who are also missionaries who have been working here for years. I have treasures in my friendships here along with the beauty I get to wake up to each day.

Another Day with Lillian

When we entered Mme (mother) Lillian’s house she had porridge made for us on the stove. She loves to feed and take care of us. We were not her only visitors this time. She also had family over shortly after we arrived. One of the visitors was a baby over a year old. We enjoyed watching Lillian care for a baby and some of us had fun playing with the baby too!

Strike Suspended

Since last week the teacher strike has been suspended, however, we waited until this week to go and teach just to make sure the students and teachers were back in the schools.
As we rolled up to the first school where Jenna and I teach, we noticed many students leaving the school and grew concerned. It turned out that for some reason school got out early and all the kids were already on their way home. Only one of our students was left and she said she would let everyone else know that LaunchPad classes are back so next week they would be there.
It was a relief that this wasn’t the case with all the schools! I joined Alicia and Alaina at their school and Jenna joined Jace. Even though it was sad we couldn’t be with our kids this week, it was nice to see other teachers in action and get ideas and meet their kids. I know God has a reason for everything, I might not fully see the reason here but I am trusting in Him.
We are hoping the teacher strike is resolved soon as it is only on hold for now. Please continue to pray for the strike, the teachers, and the students as they may be behind in their grades this term as a result. Thank you!

Lows and Highs

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was bright and warm and the wind blew to cool off the heat.
Over the weekend we went to Johannesburg and spent two days and a night there. We were there to pick up Alicia who had been in Cape Town with her parents last week. This was a rare opportunity to get to spend time in the city going to the market, out to eat, and the Mall. I found it hard to not miss home through all the driving in the city, and on the roads we traveled our very first night here when we arrived in South Africa for the very first time. I still had a good time and a lot of fun.
My homesickness has been coming and going for almost two weeks now but it has also been a growing experience in my relationship with God. He has been speaking a lot on my heart. He is helping my live for today and every moment without thinking so much about going back to the States in December. My heart still tries to wonder into the future and what I want to do next. I only have two and a half months left in South Africa and I need to finish strong.
Back to today, (my thoughts are so scattered!) Tuesday mornings are usually filled with classes, then an earlier lunch. After lunch we have BTS (Behind the scenes) work which is mostly in the office. Office work is defiantly not my calling, but surprisingly I got a lot accomplished today. My director has been working with me in setting goals that I didn’t think I could do but today proved I could! I think having Monday off and the short jog during lunch break helped. Mostly I thank God for giving me renewed strength and a clear mind.
To end the day Thrive staff has ultimate Frisbee planned every Monday and Tuesday evenings. I enjoy playing with them and today was especially fun! It has warmed up enough now to enjoy a whole hour in the warm sun.

Blessing or Blessed

Our visits with Lillian on Thursdays have continued to be my highlight of each week. We gave her a Bible a few weeks ago and have been reading some scriptures to her during our time with her. She has been so excited to own her own Bible! We were excited have an opportunity to bless her after feeling in dept to all the blessings she has given us. However, this last week she cooked us a whole meal of everything she thought we would really enjoy. (no chicken feet!) She cooked us rice, chicken and onion, and squash. It was really good. We know culturally that it isn’t polite to refuse anything that she would want to give us, but it is hard to eat such a meal knowing she can’t afford a meal like this for herself every day. Here is a quote from her that day:

‎"I may not be rich in money, but I am rich in God's Word and that is what matters and what will get me to Heaven."

She is an inspiration to us and I hope we are just as much a blessing and encouragement to her.

Teachers Strike

You might have heard about the teacher strike going on in South Africa. Thrive does a lot of its ministry in the schools so the teacher strike is having a big effect on the ministry. LaunchPad is one of the branches greatly affected this week since all the schools were unable to have class. The teachers are missing their students today but we are praying that the strike will end soon so that the ministry can continue to function next week. Our IMPACT and Hand in Hand conferences are coming up soon and in order to operate we need the teacher strike to end. IMPACT is on the 1st and everything is coming together with big plans! According to the news the strike will end no sooner than Friday and could possibly still continue on next week. We believe that our God is a big God and works all things out for His glory.

Chicken Feet with Love

I am very grateful for the relationship we have been able to build with our friend Lillian in the fall (America’s spring) I have really enjoyed seeing her again after not seeing her over our busy winter. Earlier this year we shared a little with each other about our faith, understanding that we all believed and loved God. The past two weeks we went deeper into the Bible and found that her pastor didn’t teach off of everything in the Bible. Her pastor didn’t even want her to read the Bible on her own. We encouraged her to read the Bible and see what God had to say to her for herself. She knew that we told her this because we loved her. She told us we were like her children and she looked forward to our visit every week.
The last time we visited she started cooking a special pot of cabbage and chicken feet for us. Yes, I said chicken feet! Lillian loves to share whatever she has with us. Sometimes all she has is some tea and an orange. Having chicken around is a big treat for her and she is generous enough to share with us. I have to admit it was a bit difficult to try the chicken feet but now it makes a great story!

B.W.I.T. (Basotho Wives In Training)

One of the interns, Alicia, is planning on getting married next year. With her excitement to be a wife soon and the rest of us planning on being a wife someday we’ve realized the need to learn some wife skills.

Before this year none us of knew much about cooking, baking, or sewing. When we told a friend we met in the village this she was shocked. “No man will ever want to marry you!” She said and went on to say that even if we did marry, he would soon leave because we couldn’t cook for him. She couldn’t understand how we never learned such vital skills in their culture. We explained that in America cooking isn’t a requirement to marry unlike her culture. Since this conversation we often joke whenever we try to cook for ourselves that we need to learn or we will never be good Basotho wives.

Since the beginning of July we took action and decided that every Saturday for the rest of the year we will cook a homemade meal. We call ourselves BWIT, (Basotho Wives In Training). We have been teaching ourselves how to make different things from scratch like apple pie, pizza crust, chicken pot pie, bread, Navajo frybread, and biscuits. I have discovered how much fun working in the kitchen can be!
In addition to cooking and baking, a lady on staff here who is also my second mother, June, is teaching us to sew. We all go up to her house once in a while and work on our own little sewing projects with her. I am surprised at how much I am enjoying the homekeeper lifestyle!

LaunchPad

Our LaunchPad class was small this week with only 5 students because school let out earlier than usual. The rest were confused if LP class was still happening. I really enjoyed a smaller class because things went much smoother and quieter. We also had more time to chat with the kids. I had fun getting to know them a little more.

I really like our new curriculum this term, “Pressing In.” It is a study of the New Testament but doesn’t carry too much information, leaving room for me to add what I want and my favorites about the books. I really encouraged them to read the Bible on their own. I taught about the book of Mark today so I typed up a list of some stories from the book so they could look up what story they wanted to read about and read it.