Monday, October 10, 2011

Blind

“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

Reading this from John chapter 9 I asked myself the same question. Who did wrong? Why am I blind or confused? A lot of times we don’t understand. The man in this story is literally blind from birth.

Jesus answered in verse 3, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.”

It’s hard to understand why we go through what we do. I’m not going through a hard trial now, but I am asking myself lots of questions. I want to learn more, understand more, I want my eyes to be opened. God doesn’t like to leave us in a place of confusion…but we are just little children. He can’t give us the whole picture yet. I think of it like when I’m trying to explain something to my possible future brother. He is 2 and a half and is fighting a lot of questions. The other day he asked me, “Jessie mommy?” I said I am only Jessie, not mommy. “Why?” He asked. That makes my heart sad. He is confused, he doesn’t have a mommy but he wants one so bad. It would make sense to a 2 year old for me to be mom. who takes him places like the Day Center, play with him all day, take him back to his temporary home, and also bring him to my own home for a while. I see him and care for him with so many places he goes.

Just like I can’t explain to Issah who his mom is, God can’t explain some things to us. He does reveal things as we are ready for them. I want answers, but more importantly I want to trust Him in all things. It’s not easy!

Verse 6 grabbed my attention again. “When he said these things, He spat on the ground and made clay with saliva; and He anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay.” He put spit and dirt on this blind guy’s eyes! He could have just told the guy to see and he would see right? But in life, there is so much more to learn when we go to wash off our eyes so we can be healed. Isn’t that beautiful? Sometimes it isn’t our fault we can’t see, or that we have spit and dirt on us, but still we are not worthy for God to come down and touch us, and help us see.

Verse 39, “Jesus said, ‘For judgment I have come into this world, that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may be made blind.”

As long as we live on this earth, we will be blind, but He will help us see. This makes me all the more excited for heaven! When we will be given new eyes and we will understand everything…no wonder it will be a big party! We think we worship Him now, just think when we see Him face to face and understand fully His love for us!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I'm back

So I have heard from a few people now that they miss my blogging. I miss blogging too! So I am going to start blogging here again, since the new blog didn't work out very well. I know some of you are busy and don't really want to sit at your computer reading blogs. But those of you who do want to get them, let me know. Send an email to realtogod@yahoo.com and let me know you would like me to forward my blogs to you. You can also go to my blog page at: journeysinafrica.blogspot.com.

Here is a little update on how I'm doing now:

While in Africa, God cleared some fog in my future. The organization I was with shut down before my internship ended and I came home a month early. Through that heartbreak I saw God had plans for me at home. Those plans keep unfolding as I try to seek His plan in everything I do, and opportunities I’m given. Still something doesn’t feel right. For five months I’ve been trying to settle back, adjust, and be content with my life here. I keep telling myself time will help me…but time went on…and I still miss and desire to go back just the same.

As much as I love being with family, animals, and old friends again, my spirit can no longer be satisfied with these comforts. It breaks for those in other cultures hurting, hungry, cold, and sick. I’ve been to a few countries now, and would love to go back to each one. After nine months in SA making friends I called sister, mother, and brother, there is no doubt I must go back to this country! My life has been forever changed by these people I dearly love and their culture I did my best to embrace.

Yes, I am starting to plan another adventure to South Africa! It won't be as long as 9 months. I am saving up and hopefully I will go next year. To keep me content until then, I am planning on some short trips to Mexico. I just have to be out in the mission field again!

God bless you all,
Jessica

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Thank you for following my blog! I've started a new blog for my new adventures now that I am back in the states. Join me in searching for God's plan for my life at http://exploringlifewithhim.blogspot.com/

Monday, December 6, 2010

Dance Me!


“If we are seeking Him through prayer and Bible study, we will not likely miss His appointments.” – Beth Moore.

Last I said I felt God was giving me the “go ahead” to do what’s in my heart for my future but with that I feel comes responsibility to do it right. What if I “miss His appointments”? From the quote above I believe God is assuring me that I won’t, not as long as I continue to pray and study His Word. And as long as I have Him by my side, our dreams will unfold in the right time.

“When we wait on God He gives supernatural strength and accomplishes the inconceivable!” - Beth Moore.

Today I felt God’s presence surround me, no, really surround me! His arms held me tight. I find that not many people understand this feeling or really know or have experienced what I’m talking about. Those of you who have felt this know it was like being lifted into the clouds, or heaven touching earth right where I sat. I know my God is real, His love is real, and He means every word when He says, “I know the thoughts that I have of you, … thoughts of peace and not of trouble, to give you a future and a hope.” I will call Him and ask Him, and He will listen to me. I sought Him and found Him, because I searched with all my heart. Paraphrase from Jeremiah 29:11-13. I didn’t miss our “appointment” today!

I found the perfect song for today while going though some of my music, “King of the World” by Point of Grace. Listen to it! This song is where I get my title for this blog.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

A New Journey Sparks

Wow, it’s been too long since I’ve blogged. I apologize to anyone who has been in the dark about what has been going on in the ministry and in my life since I’ve last blogged. October 18th I found out my plans for the next month have completely changed. It wasn’t just in my life that plans changed, but in the girls I lived with and everyone else on staff with Thrive Africa, as well as many others that are impacted through Thrive. Yes, the ministry was shutting down. The girls and I would be moving back home by the end of the month of October, two weeks after we heard the news.

However, this isn’t just the end of what God is doing in the villages of South Africa, but also the beginning of God’s new plans for the people He loves. Four of the staff from Thrive Africa are now working with a new ministry, Ignite Africa. I am excited to see where God is taking these four, June, Jill, Amanda, and Abram, as they launch this new ministry.

To see Ignite Africa’s website go here: http://ignitesouthafrica.org/

For me this has been a challenging, confusing, yet exciting new adventure to see what plans God has next for my life. I arrived back home on November 1st and have since been processing my year in Africa by going through my thousands, no seriously, thousands of pictures, reading my journal, praying, and reading the Bible. I still haven’t found my next adventure in life, but for me, living here with my family is a whole adventure in itself! I’m holding on to God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11 and continue to ask God what His will is for my life. I have loved my time in Africa and especially the people I left there. I miss them dearly and look forward to the day I will see them again, whether that will be here on earth or in heaven. I wouldn’t mind a bit if I was blessed with the opportunity to go back!

I know God had brought be back here in His right time. I ask what His will is but I feel like the question comes back to me. What is my will? What do I want to do with my life? Joshua 1:3 says, “Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given you,…” and verse 5 goes on, “… I will not leave you or forsake you.” I feel like God is telling me to go, and He will follow me. I guess it has been easier to ask what He wants and do it. It’s easy for me to take orders, I’m a follower. Now God is giving me this life back and I’m responsible for what comes out of it. Will I live to the fullest? Will I take every opportunity? Will I love? Most important, when I’m done and God calls me home, will He say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant”?

All these questions fill my head and God says in verse 9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord you God is with you wherever you go.” It’s not like He is telling me to go off on my own, no, He’s coming with me! With Him by my side I can be more confident I will live a life that worships Him.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

BTS (Behind the Scenes)

A third of the 24/7 internship here is spent working in BTS, or behind the scenes of ministry. This is usually spent in the office but sometimes I have fun working with items that have been donated and I organize them so that they can be used in ministry. We have spent a lot of time in the book container and pulling out books we can and can’t use. This isn’t sitting in a chair going through books but rather lifting many dusty boxes and even breaking a sweat!
This week I have had a lot of fun going through toys, books, and office supplies to gift out for our LaunchPad graduation coming up in a few weeks. Our final term is coming to an end which is both exciting but also sad as we will miss our students and visiting the schools.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Katleho, Success


As soon as class got out Katleho walked right over to where we were waiting and sat down beside us. He has told us proudly before that his name means success. It was only a couple moments before he jumped back up and announced it was time for our class to start and headed straight to the classroom. When we caught up he was busy cleaning out the room. After it was all clean we walked in and he sat himself at the very first desk right in front of where we teach. We usually use the first desk but he was so excited to learn what we had to teach he wanted the front row where he wouldn’t miss a word. His excitement to learn gave me an excitement to teach! I found myself leaving that day with more energy than I arrived with. Usually an hour long trip to Qwa Qwa, teaching class, and then an hour long trip back leaves me feeling drained and ready for a nap. However, today was different. It gave me a new excitement! I’m so excited about what God is doing in the lives of the students we have the opportunity to teach each week.