Monday, October 10, 2011


“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

Reading this from John chapter 9 I asked myself the same question. Who did wrong? Why am I blind or confused? A lot of times we don’t understand. The man in this story is literally blind from birth.

Jesus answered in verse 3, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.”

It’s hard to understand why we go through what we do. I’m not going through a hard trial now, but I am asking myself lots of questions. I want to learn more, understand more, I want my eyes to be opened. God doesn’t like to leave us in a place of confusion…but we are just little children. He can’t give us the whole picture yet. I think of it like when I’m trying to explain something to my possible future brother. He is 2 and a half and is fighting a lot of questions. The other day he asked me, “Jessie mommy?” I said I am only Jessie, not mommy. “Why?” He asked. That makes my heart sad. He is confused, he doesn’t have a mommy but he wants one so bad. It would make sense to a 2 year old for me to be mom. who takes him places like the Day Center, play with him all day, take him back to his temporary home, and also bring him to my own home for a while. I see him and care for him with so many places he goes.

Just like I can’t explain to Issah who his mom is, God can’t explain some things to us. He does reveal things as we are ready for them. I want answers, but more importantly I want to trust Him in all things. It’s not easy!

Verse 6 grabbed my attention again. “When he said these things, He spat on the ground and made clay with saliva; and He anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay.” He put spit and dirt on this blind guy’s eyes! He could have just told the guy to see and he would see right? But in life, there is so much more to learn when we go to wash off our eyes so we can be healed. Isn’t that beautiful? Sometimes it isn’t our fault we can’t see, or that we have spit and dirt on us, but still we are not worthy for God to come down and touch us, and help us see.

Verse 39, “Jesus said, ‘For judgment I have come into this world, that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may be made blind.”

As long as we live on this earth, we will be blind, but He will help us see. This makes me all the more excited for heaven! When we will be given new eyes and we will understand everything…no wonder it will be a big party! We think we worship Him now, just think when we see Him face to face and understand fully His love for us!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I'm back

So I have heard from a few people now that they miss my blogging. I miss blogging too! So I am going to start blogging here again, since the new blog didn't work out very well. I know some of you are busy and don't really want to sit at your computer reading blogs. But those of you who do want to get them, let me know. Send an email to and let me know you would like me to forward my blogs to you. You can also go to my blog page at:

Here is a little update on how I'm doing now:

While in Africa, God cleared some fog in my future. The organization I was with shut down before my internship ended and I came home a month early. Through that heartbreak I saw God had plans for me at home. Those plans keep unfolding as I try to seek His plan in everything I do, and opportunities I’m given. Still something doesn’t feel right. For five months I’ve been trying to settle back, adjust, and be content with my life here. I keep telling myself time will help me…but time went on…and I still miss and desire to go back just the same.

As much as I love being with family, animals, and old friends again, my spirit can no longer be satisfied with these comforts. It breaks for those in other cultures hurting, hungry, cold, and sick. I’ve been to a few countries now, and would love to go back to each one. After nine months in SA making friends I called sister, mother, and brother, there is no doubt I must go back to this country! My life has been forever changed by these people I dearly love and their culture I did my best to embrace.

Yes, I am starting to plan another adventure to South Africa! It won't be as long as 9 months. I am saving up and hopefully I will go next year. To keep me content until then, I am planning on some short trips to Mexico. I just have to be out in the mission field again!

God bless you all,