This month has been the hardest so far for me with Jeremy leaving and now gone, taking a 2 week break from our normal schedule, and thinking so much about home. I’ve also thought a lot about what God wants me to do next year. This past week has been the week I have missed home the most, and that has made me rethink my future plans.
I planned on being a missionary after this year, but now I want to move back to Arizona and be close to home. There are a lot of ministry opportunities back home, but it doesn’t make sense to go back when I’ve wanted to be a missionary for so long. I don’t know if God might be calling me to something unexpected, or if my fears are getting in the way of my dreams.
I haven’t felt a strong connection with God for a while and my time with God has been kind of dry. But on Tuesday God shared a lot with me and that was my highlight for these past two weeks. I guess with so much on my mind I have been emotionally and spiritually drained. However, God gave me tons of encouragement on Tuesday with reminding me of how much He loves me and how He created me. He reminded me that He wants to spend time with me this year, and He has given me wealth of love. He said I have a lot inside to share, but I’ve let fear block its path. It was like a got lost in the race and fell because I was exhausted of trying to find the path, but God picked me up and showed me that the path was under my feet the whole time. I was just too blind with fear to see that He has lit my path for me. Please be praying for me as I continue to seek God’s will and His vision for my life. Also pray that I will trust in God for the strength I need to fulfill my responsibilities here, as they have grown to an overwhelming amount in these last few days.
…”Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord God – my God – will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house [vision] of the Lord.” 1 Chronicles 28:20